Self-harming
Self-harm is hurting or damaging yourself on purpose. There are lots of ways to cope with feeling the need to self-harm.
Use this page to learn more about:
Why people self-harm →
Coping techniques →
Mood journaling →
Why people self-harm
It can affect anyone. Some young people start self-harming after something’s happened, like being bullied or abused. Others start because of things like pressure at school. Sometimes they might not even know why they started.
Some people have described self-harm as a way to:
- Express something that is hard to put into words
- Turn invisible thoughts or feelings into something visible
- Change emotional pain into physical pain
- Reduce overwhelming emotional feelings or thoughts
- Have a sense of being in control
- Escape traumatic memories
- Have something in life that they can rely on
- Punish themselves for their feelings and experiences
- Stop feeling numb
- Create a reason to physically care for themselves
- Express suicidal feelings and thoughts without taking their own life
After self-harming you may feel a short-term sense of release, but the cause of your distress is unlikely to have gone away. Self-harm can also bring up very difficult emotions and could make you feel worse.
Self-harm is sometimes seen as the only way to cope or take control, but that’s not true.
Coping techniques
Wanting to stop self-harming can be tough. You might have self-harmed for a long time, or be unsure how else you can cope and feel in control. But there are ways to get through it.
Understanding why
Mind have produced a number of prompts to help you understanding why you self-harm. For example, understanding your patterns of self-harm can help you to work out what gives you the urge to self-harm, and recognise when the urge is coming on.
Coping strategies
Join an online message board
Childline has a popular set of message boards where you can say how you’re feeling or ask a question. You can also share your experiences, have fun and get support from other young people in similar situations.
Visit your doctor
You can visit your doctor or talk to a school nurse about how you are feeling; however, it can be difficult to talk about mental health and especially hard to talk to people or ask for help. DocReady have put together some tools that will help you prepare for the first time you visit a doctor to discuss your mental health.
Mood journaling
Childline offers a free online mood journal where you can record how you’re feeling and why. Or you can just write about what’s happening.
You can use the journal whenever you want to. If you keep using it, you’ll be able to see a graph of how you’re feeling.
How a journal can help you
There are lots of ways to use a journal to cope or feel better:
Let your feelings out – Writing about how you’re feeling can be a great way to express yourself.
Learn about what makes you feel down or upset – Writing a little every day about what’s happened to make you upset can help you to spot patterns and understand your feelings.
Remind you of things to be proud of – Try writing down one thing you’re glad about each day and record how you feel about it. Writing down when things go well as well, even really small things, can help to remind you of things to be proud of.
Keep track of new things you try – Any time you try something new to cope or feel better, you can write down how you feel before and after to see whether it’s helped.
Log in or create an account on the Childline website to use your mood journal and track how you’re feeling.
If it is an emergency and someone is in IMMEDIATE danger
If there is a threat of serious harm to physical health even if caused by mental health needs, contacting the emergency services is the safest option.
If anyone is at risk of serious harm, call 999 and ask for an ambulance or the police.